Broken Wing
by 4tunecookie
Summary: Edward is just a little too perfect there must be something that's just isn't right. Bella is messed up beyond belief there must be something, anything precious left to her. Can he put her back together as she tears him apart? hiatus
1. Chapter 1

A/N

Meyer owns all characters I am just barrowing them for a dance or two. Dance baby, dance.

Rated M lemons and language abound, totally freakin bad about both of these so forgive or move on.

This is my first fanfic so forgive please….

Broken Wing

Ch 1 Obsessed

*EPOV*

Okay, I was obsessed, but only for six hours a week at most; and only for the past three months. From the moment she tripped into the room that first day falling flat on her soft pale face with her brunette waves pillowing around her, I was captivated. As the sagely Professor Banner called roll that day I took note of her name. "Swan, Isabella?" she said staring straight at the girl, forcing her into a bright cherry red as she responded in a soft shy voice "Bella, please." I was instantly imagining that soft sweet whisper calling my name, my pants immediately became uncomfortable. I was intrigued as I watched her each class somehow manage to fall into her seat, flushing with embarrassment hoping no one would see then capturing a errant piece of her hair snagging it behind her bright left ear that would slowly, torturingly, change back to that alabaster white. It was an addiction a drug that I had to watch three times a week.

How was I to know that today would be so much worse? Oh that's right because I asked for it. Because for some reason I just can't stop from torturing myself. Because I like pain even the emotional type.

Today was Friday November 17th, the last day before a week long Thanksgiving break. I had planned to head home with my brothers, Emmitt and Jasper, and my twin sister, Alice, as soon as Emmitt and I got out of this retched class. I was a bit eager to leave so I suggested to Emmitt that we sit closer to the door to leave as soon as class was done….okay, I used that as an excuse to sit closer to my little O-chem girl. We normally sat five rows up and Bella being completely physically incapable of transversing five steps without falling sat right up front, but again today was different. Today we had to- upon my suggestion mind you- sit in the second row and some angel of destruction or mercy, I wasn't sure which, decided she had to sit right in front of me.

Her smell was intoxicating. It was a soft sweet smell like pears or plums and it rolled right off her in waves. Her shinny locks enticing, so much so I almost ran my hand through just to touch them. I had barely even noticed as my arm subconsciously stretched out until Emmitt leaned over and asked "What the hell's up with you, man?"

Shit, if Emmitt noticed then I was screwed. Emmitt, my eldest brother, well technically my only brother, was big, brawny, and not exactly very observant. I dropped my pencil and mumbled something about having a cramp. I sighed. He probably would talk about this the whole ride back to Forks. It was a good thing Alice and Jasper were more observant and knew about my "little O-chem girl." I was getting exasperated with myself and my pants were getting tight. The pain was nice even if this wasn't the best place to deal with it and I would have a couple of hours to sit through without being able to change the pressure and focus the pain.

Finally Professor Banner's English accent broke through my distraction releasing us with a "Merry Thanksgiving." I packed up scrambling to leave and without looking managed to run down my obsession that was causing me to leave in such a rush.

I saw it all in my mind before it all really happened. We were both going down due to my impatience. In an incredibly quick second I wrapped an arm about her waist and twisted so that I would be the one to hit the ground.

And hit the ground I did. I heard the smack as my head hit but all I could recognize were stars. It was glorious and beautiful pain. I said a four letter would in response as my hand rose automatically to my aching head. The softest movement against me snapped my eyes open to stare straight into the deepest brown eyes. Her hair had created this magical curtain around us that made it seem as if we were in our own little bubble and I just couldn't help myself, I smirked a soft shy half smile of the dorkiest kind.

Then of course my jeans gave me away. The hard on I had been suffering and hiding all class by watching and sitting so near her had doubled from the pain and flicked into her stomach. "Oh…" she just about whispered in such a soft sweet voice that we both flushed, me a hot pink and her that delicious cherry red. I was so mortifyingly embarrassed that the smirk changed to a tight lip grimace of pure embarrassment. And for some reason as I can only explain as my body hating me, the now painful pressure in my pants caused my hard on to flick against her again.

Then I heard the words that made it worse because it made me remember we weren't the only ones in the room. Professor Banner's voice spoke softly to Bella, "Bella, sweetie, do you need help up?" and then even softer, "You need to straighten your skirt." Her skirt? She was in a skirt? And apparently giving everyone the money shot. We both flushed even deeper.

I needed to think of something, anything other than her or the pain in my head at that moment. Baseball…Grandma….Fuck did she just grind me as she was getting up?...Jasper sitting naked on Jake's lap…that one helped. I heard Emmitt's booming laugh that helped too.

"Hey bro let me help you up."

"Yeah, whatever," I responded tersely. "Let me just get my stuff." I grabbed my book and the blue spiral of notes and rushed out that room without even saying goodbye or sorry. I felt like such an ass.


	2. Chapter 2

a/n

Meyer owns all characters I am just barrowing them for a dance or two. Dance baby, dance.

Rated M lemons and language abound, totally freakin bad about both of these so forgive or move on.

characters abound….intros into most of the main guys here…..this one is quite a bit longer.

Ch 2 Lucky

*EPOV*

I had to admit I had been lucky so far. The tall, blonde, bomb shell that is Rosalie Hale, Emmitt's on-off girlfriend since second grade was coming back to Forks with us so Emmitt's attention was beyond occupied for the entire trip. He had manage to mention he needed to talk to me when we got home, I blew him off with a yeah whatever and then asked everyone if they wanted to join in a game of football when we got home. Alice answered for everyone, "Only, after Jazz, Rose, and I take in the shopping." Ali, Jazz, and Rose then proceeded to tell us about the shopping they did while we were in class which pretty much took the over the three and a half hour drive.

Ali is awesome. She is my twin sister and kind of looks like me but she's eight inches shorter and she has spiky black hair, only because she hates this reddish mess we both have naturally. She has the same green eyes that see everything. She is majoring in math but she was almost willing to take organic chemistry as an elective just to check out my distraction. She is the one who nicknamed her my "little O-chem girl" when I claimed I didn't know her name. I laughed her off and convinced her not to join us by pointing out that she would totally steal her away. Ali was bisexual, logically speaking she had a point, but she treated people like Pringles and MM's why have just one and they would all melt in her hand. She could make a gay man straight just for a night and a straight girl curious to try something new. She noticed my glow after the very first day of Bella tripping into my world. She also knew that I was hiding something today I could tell by the way she kept giving me glares in the rearview mirror.

Jasper Whitlock, tall, blonde, stylish gay man, my sort of adopted brother on the other hand stayed quite most of the trip and I was sure he would bombard me as soon as he got the chance to see if I had yet to talk to my obsession. He had noticed my abstraction three days before the first Organic Chemistry test. I was completely on the verge of a panic attack, I had needed a good grade in this class for my Pre-Med major and I had been so distracted that I didn't have the best of notes but I was procrastinating asking Em for his.

Jazz asked what was freaking me out and I told half truths. But he knew me too well after being my roommate in boarding school and college. I just couldn't hide it from him, so I told him everything but her name. His response was not what I expected.

"Finally!" he said with relief. "I was beginning to think my gay-dar was just totally off on you." I laughed. I couldn't help it; Jazz was the only one in my family, including me, who believed I was 100% straight.

When I brought him home from boarding school for Christmas when we were 17 after his parents had unexpectedly died, my parents were really cool about taking him; under one condition, that he wasn't my boyfriend. I assured them he wasn't but the inevitable question came, "Are you gay?"

"I don't know." I answered truthfully. "I've never really been attracted to anyone yet." My mom was ecstatic; I could always be her little boy. My doctor of a dad assumed I was just a late bloomer. I didn't think that was it but I didn't tell him that.

Saying I wasn't attracted to anyone was the truth however at the time I wasn't exactly into people, just pain. In a life as perfect as mine, something needs to balance it and pain did that nicely. It was why I wanted to be a doctor so I could take on the pain of others. Alice and Jazz knew my little dark secret and kept me in supply of tea light candles after I was twelve. Hot wax perfectly seared without leaving a mark that my parents would notice.

Jazz assured them I was straight at the very least his completely accurate gay-dar had never gone off on me. But my parents and I wondered. When Bella entered my life he had been proven right.

Jazz had helped me ask Em for the first tests notes and he also helped translate them as Em seemed to write in this completely unreadable non English language, but he had become very insistent that I at least talk to this girl.

Yeah, that turned out completely awesome. Sarcasm dripped even in my thoughts. I was the color of shame as I pulled into the mile long drive to our house wondering who would pounce first.

Ali surprised me giving Em first go by ordering both of us to stay outside as they brought in what would end up being Christmas gifts. Shit. Em would be the worst; he'd tease me forever once he knew about my crush. He thought I was a robot in disguise. Well, I had to face the music.

As we both climbed out the Volvo he rushed to me and practically began to drag me away from the house. "Hey bro, I need to show you something."

Crap, why didn't he just hit me it would have at least made me feel better?

He pulled his phone out of his pocket. Okay this was not what I expected. Then after he scrolled through it a bit he shoved it in my face saying, "You've got to check this out."

My eyes focused trying to figure out what was in the small screen inches from my nose. Then it clicked and my face flushed as I snatched the phone out of his hands. I had recognized the color of her skin first- had I never really looked past her hair and face? - but then the image of her legs straddling mine with that pert ass flush against my pants a small white triangle barely showing at the tops of her cheeks- oh help me god! She was wearing a thong!- came fully upon me. "What the hell Emmitt!"

I quickly pressed the buttons to send the picture to my phone as I adjusted myself and he doubled in laughter. "I'm deleting this."

"Aww man, don't do that," he whined.

"Give me one reason why not."

"Give me one reason why." he retorted as he snatched the phone back before I could delete it.

"Because, I'll tell Rose." I hit upon his weak point and crossed my arms smugly across my chest.

"Aww, man. That's just …low," he pouted. If you know Emmitt you know no one can resist a pouting teddy bear.

"Emmitt," I whined trying not to sound like such a pussy.

"Come on Eddie," he pleaded.

"Emmitt, that was singularly the most embarrassing moment of my life," and yet the best at the same time. Her body was pressed up against mine, pain was saturating through me, and she didn't seem adverse to the idea. I flushed remembering adjusting my pants again, and I guess that what's tipped Em off.

An evil grin spread across his face as he realized the truth of the matter. "You like her." He stressed the second to the last word teasing. "Oh, this is epic now I have to show it to the others."

Oblivious yes, stupid no.

I was pissed. "Emmitt, delete it," I ordered.

"No, I don't think I will. I never get this type of ass. Not even pictures of this type of ass." I was going to hit him and hit him hard.

Emmitt and I play fought a lot and I always pulled my punches and lost because let's face I like getting my face pounded into the dirt but this would not have been one of those types of fights. This would have been a fight I would have won because I was fighting with the strangest surge of energy rushing through my veins. I was jealous.

"Emmitt," I said in the lowest growl then spit at him with a bit more volume "that's my ass!"

Laughter spilled out from Emmitt's mouth and from another direction interrupting the anger boiling inside me. Alice and Jasper were coming up behind me. God, I just wanted to hit him and I couldn't now in all fairness due to the witnesses.

"What's your ass?" Alice giggled.

"Here, keep away," Emmitt replied tossing his phone to her.

She looked at it. "Oh, well….wait, Jazz look at this."

"Guys, stop tossing her ass around. This is so embarrassing," I was trying to convince them this isn't the best way to treat an unvolunteered inappropriate picture, but then again I was no saint I had sent the picture to myself when I could have deleted it the first time. Did I mention I am obsessed?

Jazz looked at the proffered picture. "Way to go Eddie." Jazz appreciated all manner of ass. "Wait is that?"

"I think so," Alice said back.

"You guys already know about this, it's bad enough I get it Em. Just delete the shit," I was still pleading.

"We know? Oh, no. Not little O-Chem girl,' she spoke in a small voice not normal for her. "Oh Eddie, she's not good for you."

Jazz repeated her. "Yeah Eddie, she's not right….for you, you know."

It sounded like he was saying my precious Bella wasn't right, like there was something wrong with her. I mentally denied their assessment. I refused to let them keep me from her. "How the fuck do you know?"

After the short pause my snap elicited Em commented, "You guys seem like you know her."

"Oh come on Em, even you've seen this ass," Alice stated exasperatedly.

"It's Izzy," Jazz said and recognition flashed over Emmitt's face.

"Oh, no shit! Really?"

"Izzy?" Rose called finally coming out of the house towards us. "Are you guys talking about her again? I swear Edward is the only one not obsessed with her."

A hysterical laugh bubbled out of my mouth as the other three shot varying shades of pitied looks in my direction.

"Eddie, why are you laughing about a slutty stripper? You haven't even met the little girl."

Slutty?

Stripper?

I was breaking. My world was collapsing in on itself. A ton of emotions tore through me- horror, grief, despair- my mind finally settled in anger. "Her name is Bella!" I snapped and then turned and stomped towards my Volvo again yelling over my shoulder at all four of them, "Look, tell mom I'll be back later. And Emmitt delete that picture!"

A/n: yeah I know right now Edwards pretty much Pussward but trust me when I say he'll change although you may not like him all that much when that happens too.


	3. Chapter 3

a/n

Meyer owns all characters I am just barrowing them for a dance or two. Dance baby, dance.

Rated M lemons and language abound, totally freakin bad about both of these so forgive or move on. Not above 18 move on.

Yea we get to meet Bella here …just warning she's a bitch here but it's a funny filler chapter because you know they just can't jump right into bed…..you do need some delayed gratification.

Ch 3 Forsaken

*BPOV*

What the fuck?

I just watched as the bronze haired god stomped away from me. He didn't even apologize for knocking me on my ass. Well, okay his ass, but that's beside the point.

Asshole. But I could not be mad at the guy that was embarrassing for me, and I shake my naked ass for money, I can imagine how bad that was for him.

The scowl on his face was breaking my heart. I much preferred the crooked smirk he gave while he was under me. That smile and the couple of pushes I felt from him is why I pushed myself against him as I got up. That smirk had taken my breath away, which is amazing since nothing and no one takes anything from me, at least not since I was seven.

I'm the taker. I'm the fucked up thief. I take that which is freely given, steal that which is refused, and break that which I cannot keep.

I am not the princess, I am the villain. If I were older I would totally be the cougarish wicked step mom but instead I am Cat Woman; leather, cat-o-nine tails, five inch heels and all just looking for a dark knight to play my fucked up games with, someone to be my toy.

"Bella, are you okay?" The professor's voice stole my thoughts away from the pleasant image of that boy saying my name as I rode him into my own sweet oblivion. "I'm sorry. Edward always seemed so polite to me, I would never have thought he could be so rude."

I should have said it was my fault, god knows I'm clumsy out of heels but instead I just puzzled out his name, "Edward?"

"Yes, that boy didn't even apologize." She sounded like an angry mom about ready to give him a spanking. I personally would love to teach him a lesson or two that involved spankings. I still had two weeks of the class left I could break him in and leave him in the dust in that time. "Anyways, you're not hurt, are you?"

I flushed, partly at my thoughts but mostly at her protective attitude towards me. I'm not used to being taken care of. "No, no I'm fine. Just need my things."

I grabbed the blue spiral as she handed me my book. I stayed and talked to her a while longer about the upcoming final fully pushing Edward away from my mind. As time passed I realized I was beginning to run late. I said my goodbye and rushed to my apartment across the street to pack and grab my boots and jacket. I was trying to get home before it got too dark.

*EPOV*

I probably should not have been driving so distracted. The pain was so off, not right in any way. My dream angel could not even walk, how could she possible strip?

I didn't even realize I had been driving in circles until the car pinged and the gas light came on. Luckily I wasn't far from a station.

As I pumped the gas a fuck me bright red motorcycle with a black leather jacketed female rider in a grey skirt and black leather boots pulled in next to me.

Shit, she was hot, and I hadn't even seen her face. I was noticing the now familiar feel of my pants tighten. I thought well at least my O-chem girl was not my only option. Maybe my dad was right; I was just a late bloomer. Then she took her helmet off.

I gasped. It was her. She shook out her hair and I didn't even think of looking away as I should have because the last thing I had done is rub myself all over her without saying a single word while her ass hung out for the entire world to see. She began the small effort of pumping her gas into her small tank, and I stared fascinated. Then she looked up directly into my eyes. Her chocolate eyes froze me solid. Even though I remember hearing the gas pump to my car click off I couldn't even remember what I was supposed to do about it.

"Oh, it's you." She finally said in what seemed bored recognition.

"Umm…I…Why are you…Are you….fuck." I'm a moron. Forget the 4.0 GPA, I epically fail. I couldn't even form a sentence. And then she smiled. Shit. My heart no longer existed in my chest, it was in her hand and it felt like she was squeezing it in a death grip with angel wings of destruction and madness unfurling out behind her. And just the thought of that pain made me think I was going to bust my load.

"My name is Bella," she said taking a riding glove off and reaching out to me with confidence.

"Edward." I somehow found my brain marveling at the soft touch as I shook the offered hand just stopping myself from bringing it to press that silk against my lips. "I'm sorry for falling for you today." Okay maybe my brain was still out of commission because that totally didn't sound right.

She blushed. "It's okay. I'm clumsy, I fall all the time; although I don't normally fall _for_ anyone," she teased with another smile and another squeeze to my heart.

She was teasing me? Well, two could play this game. "So are you following me?" I accused with my best panty dropping smile. What? While I am a virgin I never said I was completely innocent or that I never had the chance to get my dick wet…Just that I hadn't really ever been attracted to anyone.

She laughed, like silver bells tinkling. I felt high as my heart felt like it had stopped completely.

"That depends, where you going?" She quipped back.

I barely stopped myself from telling her 'anywhere you are' and instead replied more truthfully, "I'm here really. My parents live in Forks."

"Oh, well then no. I'm just passing through." My heart stuttered.

"Through to where?" I just couldn't stop this stupid stalker like curiosity and her smile expanded again. Heart squeezed pants tightened.

"La Push." Oh, wonderful relief, not far at all. This started to make the reaction from Jazz a little more understandable. But why La Push? The question must have been obvious on my puzzled face because she responded, "My family's there. I'm just heading home, just like you."

My mouth ran away from my brain again as it pushed our luck further. "Well, that's not that far, why don't we get together sometime this week?" I watched as her smile fell a little, maybe I had pushed my luck too far and now seemed way to stalkerish for my own good.

"I'll have to check in with my brother…" I was relieved as the pieces of her life came together for me. She had a brother and she didn't totally diss me.

"Of course, just give me your number; I'll call once we both figure out our families' schedules." Pushed luck even further, stupid mouth.

"I don't have a pen," she responded coyly. Still not a 'no'. I wasn't going to let her get away with that one.

"Here, use mine." I handed her one from my jean pocket still there from class. She huffed grabbed my hand and scrawled seven digits across my hand. I figured the electric shock to my heart from her touch was audible but she didn't even pause at it but she did look a bit flustered as she stepped back to her bike.

"I've got to go, my brother…."

"Yeah, so, I'll call you later," I responded embarrassingly. I mean come on what do you say at that? _I love you. I'm obsessed with you. Oh, and I like to be tortured._ "Bye Bella." It was only the second time I ever said her name out loud and I felt a charge go through me as I said it for the first time to her. I wanted to say it so many more times, preferably in a bed with lots of volume preceded with a 'my' .

I caught a glimpse of her pale white legs and half her ass as her skirt lifted while she climbed back onto her bike and sped off.

Heart squeezed pants tightened.

I replaced the nozzle and adjusted my pants the best I could; got back into the Volvo and drove home on cloud nine.

*BPOV*

I thought about him the rest of the way to La Push. The encounter had started easy enough, how did it go so badly?

I panicked when I turned and saw him standing there but kept my cool, blowing off the whole accident earlier and then he smile this million dollar, ultra-white, mega-watt smile. It blew my mind away and so what do I do? I laugh. I never laugh, ever. And then I banter with him. I fucking bantered. Let it be known right now that is not what I use my mouth for, ever.

Then he pushed to meet up again, and for the first time while I wanted it I wanted something more. I didn't want it to be up and done as quickly as I knew I could and would do it.

And he kept pushing, coming on much too strong for his own good. It gave away his inexperience, and I found myself wanting to back pedal from this shit. "I don't have a pen," I responded hoping he'd take it as a no and begging he wouldn't at the same time.

"Here, use mine," he quipped back pulling one from his jean pocket forcing me to look at his hips and notice for the first time he was sporting a nice size in his pants. I couldn't do it. I huffed grabbed his hand and scrawled the seven digits across his hand. It stung to touch him. What the hell, was he stuck to a light socket?

And then with the most regret I've ever felt, I hopped on my bike and sped away. I left him there, and I've never wanted anything more than to take him like I knew I could have had him. I'm the taker I never leave anything I want, never….

*EPOV*

When I got home Jazz was waiting on the front steps. He was just the person I wanted to talk to. Jake, Jazz's boyfriend lived in La Push. If they were going to go out this week I might be able to find a ride to see my girl.

"Hey Jazz."

"Hey Eddie, you look happier." I flashed a grin and shoved my beige jacket sleeve back to display the numbers on my hand.

"No way! Whose?" He looked shocked and impressed.

"Bella's," I stated smugly and thrilled silently at her name again.

His face fell. "Edward we need to talk about her." And the way he said it didn't sound good. But I was desperate to know this girl and nothing he could have said would have deterred me from the pursuit.

"Go ahead; I want to know as much as possible about her."

"You really that into her?"

I laughed. "Never been into anyone else."

"Well then this may be hard to hear." Okay all joking aside apparently this was bad. I sat next to him on the step as he continued. "I don't know everything but I'll tell you what I can. Your Bella is a stripper at Constellations across the street from the college."

"Whatever Jazz, many people do crap jobs to put themselves through college." I was surprised I took it so well, it must have been because I had gotten her number.

"Well that's not the worst of it. Let me start at the beginning, when Bella was three her mother died. Drank herself to death and Bella found her." I know I looked shocked, hell I think I was going into shock.

"How do you…" I whispered in pain. This pain was different than what I liked. It wasn't physical, it was a borrowed pain. This was fucking pity.

He continued without answering my question, "Her father was a cop here in Forks. He died in a hit and run accident at a routine traffic stop when she was seven."

I was beyond horrified but he kept going.

"She was adopted by her father's best friend and moved to La Push. She apparently went crazy after that. She was very rebellious. At eight she was busted for breaking and entering at the La Push store. At eleven she stole a car for a joy ride. Billy put her into ballet hoping to get her some more discipline or at least limit her free time, but by fourteen the sexual rumors started. Apparently she was caught going down on a guy in high school but got away with it because she gave the principle attention right after."

I felt ill. I wanted to throw up but I couldn't even move.

"I know all this because Billy Black is her dad, and Jacob Black is her brother."

It had to be true, he wouldn't tell me otherwise. He was only telling me now so I wouldn't get hurt. I wouldn't look at him. All I could do was just stare at my hands, more particularly the numbers on my skin.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Don't be, I know why…" I mouthed unable to have any volume to it. "But Jasper I can't…." I looked up then into his caring blue eyes knowing mine were brimming with tears.

"You can't what?"

"I can't let her go," I whispered.

"Why?" He almost shouted in disgust.

"Well besides the fact I've never felt like this about anyone?"

"Yeah, what do you like about her?" He almost scoffed.

"Her soft white alabaster skin that flushes cherry red at the hint of any embarrassment. Her confidence and quick wit. Her long shiny brunette locks and her brown eyes that are so deep I feel like I should be bathing in the chocolate waterfall of Willy Wonka's factory when I look into them. Her ability to overcome her past pain. Hell, even her rebellions. It all intrigues me." My voice had gain volume through my little rant to the point I was almost shouting the last part.

"Damn. I just made you like her more didn't I?"

I thought about how much his words made me want to hold her. They made we want to comfort her and tell her I was here now; everything would be okay. Tell her to pass the pain to me, I could handle it. "Yeah, I think so."

"You realize she's broken right?"

"That's what doctors do Jazz, they fix people. They take the pain away."

He laughed and just like that, for some reason the serious somber mood lifted. "Well then call her."

"You don't think it's too soon do you?"

"Does it matter?" I shook my head. "Then dial."

He didn't have to tell me twice, but my luck didn't hold because on the third ring an automated voice answered, "I'm sorry…"

I was disgusted and it must have shown in my face.

"Edward?" Jasper's voice dripped concern.

I hung up the phone pissed right the fuck off and threw the damn thing into the darkened lawn, stood up and stomped towards the door and a needed flame. This pain needed physical proof. Some sort of scar and a release of all my anxiety. I needed pain for this fucking hell.

"Edward, what happened? What's wrong?"

I seethed the two horrid words, "Rejection. Hot-line."

a/n: I know she's a bitch right…..Ehhh she had her reasons. Hopefully I'll get back to you guys quicker on the next one; I know this was a long wait. RL sucks.

Thanks to ph0enix7 and Sasibell for the faves. You rock. Love you guys!

To those who review and fave previews come a knocking.


	4. Chapter 4

a/n

Meyer owns all characters I am just barrowing them for a dance or two. Dance baby, dance. This is totally fiction by the way not even an ounce of real life here.

Rated M lemons and language abound, totally freakin bad about both of these so forgive or move on. Not above 18 move on. Yes run to your mamma and Spongebob. Trust when I say this isn't for you young'uns.

I apologize in advance if I am a bit too insulting in this one. I am not my characters nor do I hold with their opinions. Some things are discriminatory but the characters say it in anger and pain.

Ch 4 Messed Up

*BPOV*

"Isabella!"

Shit. I knew that tone and no good would come from Jake yelling at me like that from down stairs. I thought for sure we could make it a week without totally fighting like brother and sister. Nope mark it as two days. Two fucking days only.

"What Jake?" I yelled back down the stairs.

"Get your lily white ass down here and explain to me what the fuck you did!"

What the fuck is he talking about? I've been good. Of course it has only been two days but, hell, I haven't brought a guy over, I haven't messed around with the local dicks, I haven't been busted by the cops, and I haven't even fucked his boyfriend yet. I've been good.

I shut down my archaic but well updated pink IMac G3 and shoved myself downstairs to find out what the hell my brother was talking about. He was literally steaming when I saw him.

"You know I've been good, there's nothing to fight about," I tried to advert the argument.

"Fuck that, you've been far from good. Tell me what the hell happened between you and Edward Cullen."

Edward? How in the god forsaken world did he know about that?

"Nothing," I told truthfully as much as I wanted more I pushed him away for his own good. He didn't need my shit. Not that I hadn't thought about him in my two days here. That god of a man had already brought me to orgasm a few times. I honestly couldn't help it with how amazing his penetrating green eyes were and that first night I woke up from that fuck awesome dream of his long fingers in me. Best dream I had in years.

"Yeah right, you stupid bitch." What the hell? He never laid into me like this. He was the only person who really knew my shit and put up with most of it until I shoved it in his face. The only time we fought was when I needed him to clean up the shit I left behind in my wake, but I didn't leave anything behind this time. I left that poor boy alone.

"No, seriously I left the dude alone. A hand shake is the most contact he got from me." Although, the dreams that I got from him were just…fan-fucking-tastic. The second one was even better as his tongue slipped across my skin until he smiled that gorgeous smile of his and whispered "Come for me, Bella." I woke up a sticky sweating mess from that one. Which is not that abnormal since I normally have nightmares that leave me in sweaty messes.

"Yeah, that's why you flushed like a fucking beet a second ago when I mentioned his name."

"You know what? Fuck off! How the hell do you even know about Edward?"

"He's my friend, you whore! How the fuck do you know him?"

Okay I tried but now I was pissed. I hated being called a whore. I was not a whore, a slut yes, whore no. I did not need money for what I gave out. It gave me a chance at standards. My shit wasn't tainted like the whores I knew.

"Jake," I spoke with calm furry, "Your friend is an raging ass muncher if he told you I did anything with him other than let him run me over in class and accept his apology at a fucking gas station. You can go fuck yourself and leave me the fuck alone and out of you two's shit covered dicks. Don't call me a whore again or else I will cut your pinky toe off with a dull rusty knife." I turned from his face and strode to the kitchen to get a stiff drink. Thank god for vanilla vodka and coke, shit went down like candy.

"Look, Bells, Jazz said…"

"What the hell does he have to do with you yelling at me about Edward?" I started my second drink. I liked Jazz he was a nice guy, great for my brother and he and his sister were awesome shopping partners.

"You really don't know him at all do you?" I shook my head. "This is so weird. Bella, Jazz is Edward's adopted brother."

"Oh, fuck me." I downed the second drink in a single gulp and started my third.

"Yeah, your best friend Ali is his twin sister. And I want to totally call you on your bullshit of him from this picture Emmitt sent me." Bye third drink as I stared at the screen holding my ass straddling his legs. "But I trust you and by the way you're handling that bottle I know something more is up than just your normal shit."

"Why God, does my fucking life have to be such a three ring fucking circus?" I knew I had seen those cat like eyes somewhere, although his are sharper than Ali's. "Twins?" He nodded. 4th drink.

"Come tell me what happened." He offered.

"What do you know?"

"Well, I called Jazz to set up a date and he said, and I quote here, 'I can't man. Eddie needs me; your stupid bitch sister fucked him up.' I thought for sure you did your regular shit, so I'm kind of in the dark here. I mean I don't get it Edward is not your normal type; he's the prodigy and shit. 4.0 and all that crap. He doesn't roam around he's, well he's fucking perfect."

I laughed, and he looked at me shocked. Again, I don't laugh. I let the information gates open and told my brother everything, even about the beautiful dreams.

*EPOV*

I had moped for two days. Everyone noticed even my parents and now I had more heart to hearts than really necessary. I do not really mope, too perfect. I was actually beginning to get more pissed off at them than really upset with her. I understood I had fucked up, I was a bit too pushy and stalker like for anyone let alone someone like her. Someone like her did not need the sign handle with care it was plastered all over her heart shaped alabaster face. But rejection did fucking suck. The good thing about never being interested in anyone is you never really had to deal with rejection. And since this was my first rejection all my family felt the need to be involved in my consoling. It disgusted me to feel so week.

I knew from the first part of this semester that I was definitely the suffer-in-silence type. My family had other plans. I heard just about everyone's first breakup story and everyone's first getting together story about five times now. It was driving me crazy. They just would not leave me the fuck alone.

Thank god they were going camping tonight. I decided to get out of it under the pretense of studying. Finals were just a few weeks away. Alice was the last holdout and it was not until I snapped at her to get out of my room that she finally gave in to my excuse. Truthfully I would probably just end up watching a Mad Max/ Red Dawn marathon but I would go through the motions for my families benefit and pretend to be studious instead of wallowing. So I made sure in the morning everyone knew I was going to my car to get my books from the car, but when I brought them back to my room setting them on my desk I notice something was not right.

The pile fanned across my desk and I noticed the blue notebook that should hold my organic chemistry notes had two beautifully penned bells that I did not put there. The silver bells were incredibly detailed. One bell had children holding hand the other had what looked like Japanese style characters on it. That this was not my notebook was confirmed when I opened it to the first page and saw a broken bird with the words "Not one sparrow…" written in excellent calligraphy in almost a complete circle around the broken bird. It was so beautiful and yet so sad I almost cried. I turned to the next pages briefly and saw crosses, Madonna's, prayer hands, rosaries, and various others pictures. I began flipping through the book quicker catching various animals, a few swords, some daggers, and then a few cartoons and video game drawings.

These were fucking awesome.

One entire page was dedicated to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (my favorite Donatello was in the bottom right corner). Another page was completely a shrine to the Mario Brothers. And then one page somewhere in the middle was a picture of four pieces, two of which were impossible. On this page were the sword, shield, blue crystal, and fairy form the original Legend of Zelda and The Adventures of Link video games. What made this absolutely impossible was that I had two of these as tattoos.

Not many people knew I had tattoos. I did not have many, just three and two of them were copied directly to this page. Exact duplicates on my right and left chest were the sword and shield. Jazz had convinced me to get one when he turned 18 and I was still 17. He had recently become my brother so to speak so I said I would in honor of the newest family member as long as he picked it out. He picked out the sword. I placed it on my left chest so that it looked like it was piercing my heart. The pain of a tattoo was amazing, I had a hard on for a week from it. I was never able to get off quite as fast before. I became addicted to it and so when I turned 18 I got the matching shield on my right chest and my first blow job from Jane, my tattoo artist. Last summer I got DaVinci's Vitruvian Man on my ribs on my right side and another blow job. This summer I planned on getting a Caduceus (Hermes the Greek God's staff up my spine) and while I liked the pain with the release Jane would give I did not exactly want her mouth on me this time. This time I wanted Bella's.

Just the thought of her lips on my piece gave me a hard on I could not get without the ink. I closed the book not wanting to think about the bitch. But as I did I looked at the silver penned bells again.

Oh fuck. Bells. This was fucking Bella's notebook.

How did I ever get her notebook?

And then I really panicked because if I had her notebook then she had to have mine and there were things in there she could not see. I started looking desperately through my stuff hoping without any possible chance it was here. Nowhere.

Fuck!

I could not ignore her as she wanted and as I hoped I could till the end of the semester. I would have to get my notebook back. I shoved the offending notebook away and tried to shove the girl out of my mind. I plastered a fake smile and stomped off down stairs to say goodbye to my parents and siblings of sorts wishing them great weather for camping. Then refusing to return to her art I settled myself into the light colored living room for Red Dawn my favorite of the post apocalyptic epics I had planned.

A/N: Okay there's a lot of back ground info you may want here. First I'm such a nerd and the IMAC G3 was the original colorful Imac that look like a huge egg. Love these things even though I'm not a huge mac fan. But since Bella is an artist a mac is definitely better for her. Second the Mad Max series and Red Dawn are some of the best guy movies ever bar only the godfather. Mad Max is probably the best Mel Gibson movies ever. Third again I'm a huge nerd so the teenage mutant ninja turtles and the Mario brothers are my idols. Donatello is the smart one with the staff by the way. Fourth the tats. Yes my Edward has tats. The first two again I'm a nerd so they are from two video games. Go here .org/wiki/The_Legend_of_Zelda_(video_game) and .org/wiki/Zelda_II:_The_Adventure_of_Link if you want to know more or see what they look like. The third tat looks like this .org/wiki/Vitruvian_Man and the fourth will look like this .org/wiki/File:Johann_Froben%27s_printer%27s_ without the hands at the bottom.


	5. Chapter 5

a/n

First off sorry this is crazy late. I have a school schedule so vacays are my best time to write. Now good news, this story is complete….just not typed. I have hand written everything just not typed it up yet its not appropriate to type at my school. Hopefully you all will get it by the end of summer though

Meyer owns all characters I am just barrowing them for a dance or two. Dance baby, dance. This is totally fiction by the way not even an ounce of real life here.

Rated M lemons and language abound, totally freakin bad about both of these so forgive or move on. Not above 18 move on. Yes run to your mamma. I believe Disney has something on for you. Trust when I say this isn't for you young'uns.

Ch 5 Resolute

*EPOV*

_Bella was gliding towards me in her black leather boots and grey skirt. Her white collared shirt was button once in the middle exposing more of her flesh than I had ever seen. She was coming towards me from my door way of my room. She came right up to me a foot away and her smell was intoxicating. It was almost identifiable this close. A sweet floral sent. Then as she reached up for some stupid reason I held my breath. She placed her hand on my cheek and I could not stop myself from tilting my head into it reveling in the soft caress. I felt like my skin was singing. Her hand ghosted to my hair. Then she grabbed a handful and pulled me so my body was flushed with hers. My hands automatically grabbed her waist to stabilize myself. I could feel her curves smooth and warm as my hands slipped to her back over her shirt pulling it taunt against the button. I could feel a building ache in the pit of my stomach to touch more of her. I was sure she could feel it too. She pulled my face close to hers guiding my lips to her. Her breath cascaded over my face sending a chill down my back. The movement was paralyzingly perfect. Then she bit my bottom lip._

I woke exhaling and gasping finding myself pressing my body into the couch the pressure reliving my stiffness. Her sweet smell seared itself into my brain permanently. My subconscious had dug up the one thing I did not want to think about. The credits on Mad Max were rolling obviously for the second time.

I turned off the TV, drug myself off the couch and found my way to my shower upstairs. I turned the facet to ice cold and spotted my sister's strawberry shower gel. I pulled it off the ledge before getting in and smelled it. It almost but not quite had the same smell as Bella. I rotated the nozzle almost 180 degrees till it was scalding got in and ran my fingers up my shaft. Twisted my wrist at the top to spead the precum that had began to bead. Then I began to relive the dream seeing her walking towards me almost naked. My hand went at a much quicker rate. I felt the sensations in my stomache tense and then explode. I relieved myself using my sister's gel thinking of Bella and her body pressed against me as she bit my lip and I bit hers in return. I was feeling unconsiously guilty and disgusted at that.

Once I finished the rest of the shower I wrapped myself in a fluffy white towel and trudged to my room. Her drawings on my desk called to me. She was an addiction I could not keep away from and truthfully I really did not want to. But she obviously did not want anything to do with me. Could I keep up this obsession without hope of reciprocation? Should I just keep trying and hope one day she would come around or just move on?

I laughed looking at the silver penned bells. I could not move on that was certain.

With that I began to wonder if there was just some path through all this. Well, if she was honestly not interested in me then maybe we could just be friends. At least if we were friends I might be able to find something about her that I would find adverse and throw off this attachment.

Jake was her brother and one of my good friends. Jake is a perpetually happy person. So comfortably easy to talk to, and he was great at video games and into sports I had reasons to visit him and possibly see her if I really wanted to. Odd how I had never seen her before really with how much Jazz and he hung out but I guess I never really went with him to his house.

Jake was tall with dark hair and russet skinned, the very opposite of Jazz's fairness. Jazz and I met him about a year ago while fishing near La Push Reservation. He had shared our campfire that night telling us tall tales and scary stories about the Quileutes. Jake and I had gone fishing a couple of time later all the while he kept pumping me for information about Jazz. Two months later I was the third wheel. Jake owed me for helping him with Jazz I'm sure I could at least ask him to exchange our notebooks if she truly wanted nothing to do with me.

I could not help thinking of our conversation at the gas station, it was the only time we had even talked. She did not seem averse to talking to me. Actually she was confident and playful until I took the lead and asked for her number. She must not be completely against being friends. This is what made my mind up.

I decided I could at least attempt asking Jazz if I could tag along to La Push next time and if nothing else I would leave the notebook and get mine in return. I felt almost decent after my decision knowing it would be easy enough to go through.

I turned to my Calculus 2 book and with calmness I had not felt all weekend and I got to work on my math. When I was done it was late but I just was not tired after having my couple of hours of nap time. I did not have much else since I was complete with my rough draft for my English research paper and I did not have my notes for Organic Chemistry. So instead I grabbed her notebook and starting from the back this time I really looked at the pictures.

There were a few blank sheets in back that she seemed to have not gotten to just yet but the rest were done with such detail I marveled at the shear time it must have taken just to complete each one. I took a look at each page like a work of art taking the time to see all the details I could. By the time I reached the front it was after two am. The sparrow was just as moving as before and while I was not sure what the words meant, their elegance was impossible to deny. The piece before it was almost as awesome. It was a cross that looked like it would be revealed by a ripping of the skin it would be displayed on.

I do not know what made me do it, I mean these were not mine to take, but I ripped the single page out and pinned it sparrow side up upon my built-in bulletins board. I knew I would be spending the money to get one of them soon, maybe even before my caduceus.

I realized what time it was and that if I was seeing her again I needed to look my best. I threw my mostly dry towel on the floor and crawled naked into my bed, falling into random dreams of being a doctor and being with her.

When I woke it was to Jasper knocking at my door and barging in. "Fuck man. I know you hate it when I say this but sometimes I wish you were gay so I could wake up to your naked ass looking like that."

"Just put it in the spank bank Jazz," I said groggily squeezing my eyes tighter hoping to keep myself in the dream with her still. As I smiled he somehow knew.

"At least stop thinking about her while I'm here. Damn man your dick is hard enough."

I laughed and the dream evaporated. So I pulled my tangled covers back over my lower half and I sat up. I was sticky, glowing, and in need of an ice bath. I glanced at the clock it was just after 10.

"So you seem happier," he said pleased.

"Yeah well I thought things over and I'm kind of forced to talk to her again so I'll try to limit myself to being the nice guy and maybe we can be friends since she obviously can't handle more. Is there anyway I could tag along with you next time to see Jake?"

"Why do you have to talk to her?"

"Umm…when the incident on Friday occurred we must have switched notebooks. So I have hers and cannot find mine."

"So the thought of talking to her makes you happier? Boy you have it bad, but Jake has apparently been missing you too, since he left like twenty messages for me last night begging me to bring you next time. I guess I can take you this afternoon, Billy's making his famous spaghetti."

A huge smile spread across my face as I thought about seeing her today.

"If you want I could pick out what you should wear?"

I laughed. "As if you wouldn't do that anyways? Hell I bet that's why you barged in here in the first place."

He grimaced. "No actually I was coming on mom's request, she was a bit worried about leaving you home such a mess."

I snorted back a laugh, my mom was just so over protective.

"I'll let her know you are better. You need a shower and I'm sure you need to wash your sheets, your room smells a bit ummm….sticky." He smiled.

I smirked back. "Fine, fine just get my stuff ready for tonight. And Jazz nothing too crazy it is just Jake's house." His smile fell just a little.

*BPOV*

Oh, fuck me!

Why had I told Jake everything? Now the stupid jack ass had been trying to get a hold of Jazz and get Edward here. Apparently I had to apologize for being a complete bitch and giving him a rejection hotline number. And I had been drunk enough to actually let him. Okay truthfully all I could think about were those excellent dreams with his long skillful fingers and penetrating deep green eyes. Thank god Jake had only got his voice mail. And now here I was waking up to the velvet voice again in another epic dream. He had come up from behind pressing himself into my back. I knew we were naked as his hands skimmed my stomach and squeezed my breast toying with my hard nipples and I felt every inch of him. Then his rough tongue brushed across the shell of my ear. He paused barely causing my body to quake in anticipation and then he let his seductive voice whisper in my ear, "You're torturing me, Isabella." It had me whimpering awake and grabbing for one of my many toys.

Well, at least he also took the nightmares away.

Bang, bang. "Bells?"

"What Jake?" My voice sounded breathy and not quite like normal as I turned down the vibrations.

"What the hell you doing in there?" He shouted through the door as he tried the handle.

"None of your fucking business!" Thank god I locked it at night.

"Well, hurry you ass up, Jasper is coming to dinner."

"So what! Why the fuck should I care? It's not even noon!" 11:58 was not yet noon in my book.

"Because, he's bringing Edward!" With that I turned the toy off and let my heart pound right out of my chest. And I realized I had a fucking hang over.

A/N I know I know I'm torturing you but I swear next chapter we will see some action between the two again outside of dreams.


End file.
